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How Much Video Game Time Is Too Much #1 Best Parent's Guide

How Much Video Game Time Is Too Much #1 Best Parent’s Guide

How Much Video Game Time Is Too Much #1 Best Parent's Guide
How Much Video Game Time Is Too Much: A PHow Much Video Game Time Is Too Much #1 Best Parent’s Guide

What is Excessive Gaming? How much Video Game Time is Safe?

As a parent, you’ve likely found yourself wondering, “How much video game time is too much?” It’s a question that resonates with many families as digital technology use becomes increasingly prevalent in our children’s lives. You want to support your kids’ interests, but you’re also concerned about the potential impact of excessive gaming on their development and relationships. This guide aims to help you navigate the complex world of video games and find a healthy balance for your family.

In the following sections, we’ll explore the effects of too much game time on children’s well-being and how to recognize signs of video game addiction. You’ll learn strategies to set healthy gaming limits and encourage alternative activities that promote growth and creativity. We’ll also discuss ways to monitor and manage game content, ensuring your children’s digital experiences are age-appropriate and enriching. By the end of this guide, you’ll be better equipped to make informed decisions about your family’s video game habits and foster a balanced approach to digital entertainment.

The Impact of Excessive Gaming on Children

As a parent, you’re right to be concerned about the effects of excessive gaming on your child’s development. Video games have become an integral part of many children’s lives, with studies showing that between 83% to 97% of children have access to a home gaming console [1]. What parents need to understand is that every second your child accesses video games or any form of technology, it is acting on the addictive receptors in their brain at a time when their brain is still developing. A child’s brain does not stop developing until the age of 26.

Neglecting Responsibilities

One of the most immediate effects of excessive gaming is the neglect of important responsibilities by nurturing the anti-virtues (impatience, low frustration tolerance, need for immediate gratification, inattentiveness, and addiction) within the child. You might notice your child’s grades slipping or a decrease in their participation in other activities. This is a common issue, as many parents report that their children’s academic performance suffers due to gaming [2].

Video game addiction, also known as internet gaming disorder, can lead to poor performance at school, work, or household responsibilities [3]. Your child might start prioritizing gaming over their studies, leading to missing assignments and lower grades. But its important to understand that these behavioral symptoms of video game use are a subservient issue to the poor character development that is nurtured in your child through technology.

Sleep Deprivation

Another significant impact of excessive gaming is sleep deprivation. Many children tend to play video games during the evening or night hours, sacrificing valuable sleep time [4]. This can have serious consequences on their overall well-being and cognitive functions.

Research has shown that excessive gaming can lead to:

  1. Reduced Total Sleep Time (TST)
  2. Increased Sleep Onset Latency (SOL)
  3. Modifications in REM sleep and Slow Wave Sleep (SWS)
  4. Increased sleepiness and self-perceived fatigue [4]

These sleep disturbances can impair your child’s sustained attention and verbal memory, affecting their performance in school and daily activities. It’s essential to establish and enforce healthy gaming habits that don’t interfere with your child’s sleep schedule.

Again, this sleep deprivation issue is nurtured by the anti-virtues being built up in the child by technology. In other words, video games and technology are reverse engineering your child’s character, feeding your child’s worst base instincts: fostering selfishness, impatience, lack of empathy or concern for others, and feeding their addiction tendencies. Worst of all, its conditioning your child to be isolated and anti-social, essential elements of any anxious, addicted, or depressed personality.

For a developing child, a lack of sleep can have long term detrimental affects on cognitive functioning, mood, and well being.

Social Isolation

While video games are seen as opportunities for online social interaction, they are actually socially isolating, pulling children away from real, healthy, in person relationships and conditioning them to accept the inauthentic and isolating experience of online relationships as an acceptable substitute. If a child ever had relational intelligence, they most assuredly lose their relational intelligence through prolonged acceptance of online relationships as an equal replacement for in person relationships and interactions.

I’ve known kids that stopped engaging in real life relationships altogether in favor of online interactions and even cybersex. Your child might start giving up previously enjoyed activities and social relationships due to gaming [3]. But its not really because of the gaming, its because of the depression that is rooted in the social isolation from healthy relationships. This isolation can have a significant impact on their social skills and emotional development.

Your child does not need to learn to balance video games, they do not need it for healthy development. They will have to learn in their later years how to not be mastered by it, but parents should have in their mind that gaming is not an activity for moderation. I would not let a developing child consume any addictive drug, why would I let them consume video games which have the same addictive consequences as drugs. Children need to learn together, experience together, and share ideas with their peers in person [5]. These face-to-face interactions are crucial for developing empathy, increasing frustration tolerance, communication skills, and problem-solving abilities.

The impact of excessive gaming (for children any gaming is excessive) extends beyond these three areas. It can also contribute to:

  • Aggressive thoughts and behaviors, especially when exposed to violent video games [5]
  • Increased risk of obesity due to sedentary behavior [5]
  • Potential financial strain on the family due to gaming-related expenses

Moreover, excessive gaming can strain the parent-child relationship. Many parents with children who meet gaming disorder criteria report feeling “like a failure” and experiencing difficulties in their relationship with their child .

It’s crucial to remember that video games can be particularly harmful to developing brains. This makes children especially vulnerable to the negative impacts of excessive gaming.

To protect your child from these potential harms, consider immersing your child in family interactions and family social activities, such that without even realizing it, they don’t have time to play their video games. Once they are used to the new rythm of life where the family is immersively involved with each other, its easier to get rid of the video games and consoles in their possession.

Did you know? Some experts recommend limiting video game time to 1 hour a day during the week and up to 2 hours on weekends [5]. But that is a compromised position, how can anyone give a knowlingly inherently addictive substance or technology to a child with a developing brain. It would appear that these experts are compromised and are bending to the will of a billion dollar industry that profits primarily off of your kids.

By understanding these impacts and taking proactive steps to manage your child’s gaming habits, you can help ensure their healthy development and well-being.

Recognizing Signs of Video Game Addiction

As a parent, it’s crucial to be aware of the signs that might indicate your child is developing an unhealthy relationship with video games. Video game addiction, also known as internet gaming disorder, can have serious consequences on your child’s overall well-being. Remember, every moment your child spends gaming activates addictive receptors in their developing brain, which continues to evolve until the age of 26. This makes children particularly vulnerable to the negative impacts of excessive gaming.

Obsessive Behavior

One of the most telling signs of video game addiction is obsessive behavior surrounding gaming. You might notice your child:

  1. Having intense urges to play video games that block out other thoughts [6]
  2. Thinking about gaming even when not playing (preoccupation) [7]
  3. Being unable to reduce playing time despite negative consequences [8]
  4. Lying about the extent of their gaming habits [6]
  5. Needing more screen time over time to get the same level of enjoyment [6]

This obsessive behavior can lead to neglecting personal hygiene, appearance, or other previously enjoyed activities [7] [6]. Your child might also become defensive or combative when asked to turn off games [7].

Mood Changes

Video game addiction can significantly impact your child’s emotional state. Be on the lookout for:

  1. Withdrawal symptoms such as sadness, anxiety, or irritability when unable to play [8]
  2. Using video games to escape real-life problems or relieve negative moods [8]
  3. Feeling guilty, shameful, or regretful about gaming behaviors [7]
  4. Displaying signs of irritability, anxiety, or anger when forced to stop playing [6]

These mood changes can be a result of the brain being in a constant state of hyperarousal due to excessive gaming. This state can lead to difficulties in managing emotions, controlling impulses, and tolerating frustration [6].

Declining Academic Performance

A significant red flag for video game addiction is a decline in your child’s academic performance. You might observe:

  1. Poor performance at school due to excessive gaming [8]
  2. Difficulty concentrating on important activities like schoolwork [7]
  3. Spending money on video games instead of school-related responsibilities [7]
  4. Neglecting homework or studying to play games [8]

Recent studies have shown that individuals with addictive gaming behaviors often experience poor academic performance compared to those with less extensive gaming habits [9].

It’s important to note that video game addiction can have far-reaching consequences beyond these three areas. You might also notice your child:

  • Cutting back on social activities in favor of gaming [6]
  • Experiencing physical symptoms like wrist, neck, and elbow pain, or even blood clots in severe cases [10]
  • Showing a decreased interest in learning and expressing compassion or creativity [6]

As a parent, it’s crucial to take these signs seriously. Video games will hijack the brain’s reward system, making it challenging for your child to moderate their gaming habits [7]. If you notice multiple signs of video game addiction in your child, it’s essential to take action. Remember, early intervention is key to preventing long-term negative impacts on your child’s development and well-being.

Setting Healthy Gaming Limits: How Much Video Game Time Is Too Much?

As a parent, eliminating gaming and technology use is crucial to protect your child’s developing brain from the addictive nature of video games. Immerse your child in healthy relationship interactions with your family, make your family the reference point for the child’s social development and your child will develop a healthy relational intelligence. Let your child play video games and every moment your child spends gaming will be activating addictive receptors in their brain, feeding their addiction, anxiety, depression, and deterioration in social intelligence. This makes it essential to establish clear boundaries and expectations around video game use.

Age-appropriate time restrictions

At Growth and Change Counseling, we recommend zero minutes of screen time for all children under the age of 13. Children benefit most developmentally from immersion in healthy relationships with their family and friends and in obtaining and receiving information through the oral and written word, like reading books, listening to stories and music.

Our position is at odds with the American Academy of Pediatrics, which suggests specific time limits for different age groups. For children under 6 years old, they recommend less than 1 hour of total screen time per day [1]. For children and adolescents over 6, the recommendation is 30 to 60 minutes per day on school days and 2 hours or less on non-school days [1]. These guidelines can serve as a starting point for setting your own family rules. These recommendations are arbitrary and unscientific, based on a philosophy of mitigating damage rather than nurturing and fostering what is healthy. The below statement by Child Mind gives it all away…

It’s important to remember that some days each week should involve no gaming at all [1]. This ensures that your child develops and maintains interests in other non-screen activities, which is crucial for their overall development.

Yes, real in person relationships, character development, outdoor play, and immersion in family engagement are all important and essential for healthy social and child development. Video games is completely non-essential for child development. It has been non-essential for over 2000 years. Furthermore, its literally toxic to child development, it teaches the anti-virtues (see our article on technology and the anti-virtues).

Creating a balanced schedule

To create a balanced schedule, consider the following strategies:

  1. Set specific times for indoor and outdoor non technological free play time. After school might be a good time for your child to unwind.
  2. In the limited time you have with your child when they are home from school, immerse them in whatever it is you are doing. Chores do not need to be an isolating experience.  You can wash dishes together, or go to the grocery store together, or cook dinner together.  Immerse your child relationally in the full spectrum of daily life with you.  It doesn’t need to be fancy, it doesn’t need to be going out to dinner or going to a paid activity.  Bring them into your world, it nurtures maturity.
  3. Support your child’s developing independence by having a period of time in your schedule for your child to do their homework or read some books before additional play time. If you let your kids play video games, it will reinforce inside of them a rejection of desiring to read or do homework because they are slow and boring compared to the immediate gratification of video games.
  4. Allow your child to earn additional specialized interactions with you like wrestle time or playing a game with them. There will be times when you do this with them just because they need it. But there can be additional times you do it because your child helped the family and this created the possibility of extra time for more fun relational interactions. This can be especially beneficial for children who struggle with socialization.

Remember, the goal is to nuture healthy character development in your child and make your family life the reference point for how they learn to do life.

Enforcing consequences

Our approach at Growth and Change Counseling is counter to the prevailing sentiments you will find regarding how to manage usage of video games. The below example is an expression of conventional sentiment on how to manage video game usage. To this, we at Growth and Change Counseling say, “Good luck trying to nurture and manage addictive behavior at the same time. You cannot behaviorally manipulate an addict into submission, it builds resentment, distance and isolation in relationships. Below is the conventional, albeit wrong, sentiment on how to do this…

Establishing clear consequences for breaking the gaming rules is essential. Here are some tips for effective enforcement:

  1. Choose realistic and immediately applicable consequences [1]. For example, if your child plays longer than the allotted time, deduct that extra time from the next day’s gaming allowance [11].
  2. Be consistent in monitoring and applying the rules [1]. Don’t allow exceptions when you’re tired or distracted, as this can undermine the effectiveness of your limits.
  3. Apply consequences immediately if rules are broken, regardless of other circumstances [1].
  4. Consider using a reward system for following the rules. This can include tangible rewards or intangible ones like verbal praise or extra attention [1].

When parents apply this approach to their children, they foster a combination of progressive addiction mixed with relational resentment that grows over the course of the childhood. At some point, either the parents give in to letting their kids play as much video games as they want, or they face an increasingly behaviorally and emotionally hostile child from which they are relationally isolated.

It’s crucial to replace gaming with other engaging activities. But if your child is already addicted to video games, you want to take a relational approach that reduces active confrontation. Actively imerse your child in participation in relational family activities and interactions including during the times when your child would typically play video games [1]. The relationally connected and involved they are with their family, the less time they will have to consider that they are not having time to play video games. This leads to improved mental functioning and well being.

By implementing these strategies, you’re fostering a healthy lifestyle that supports your child’s growth and well-being. Remember, the goal is to nurture and develop a healthy child that will be relationally intelligence, emotionally astute, intellectually capable, and physically fit.

Encouraging Alternative Activities

As a parent, you play a crucial role in guiding your child away from video game use towards healthier, more enriching activities. Remember, every second your child spends gaming activates addictive receptors in their developing brain, which continues to evolve until age 26. To protect your child’s well-being, it’s essential to disconnect your kids from technology and immerse them in the traditional experiences of family, nature, and books that foster growth, creativity, and social intelligence.

Outdoor Pursuits

Encouraging outdoor play is a powerful way to eliminate screen time and promote your child’s overall development. Outdoor activities inspire creativity, build confidence, and teach responsibility [12]. They also have a significant impact on children’s physical and mental health. Here are some compelling reasons to prioritize outdoor play:

  1. Boosting creativity: Since 1990, creativity scores have steadily declined, especially among kindergarteners through third graders [12]. Outdoor play activates children’s natural sense of wonder and curiosity, encouraging them to invent their own games and solve problems.
  2. Improving physical health: Outdoor activities keep children active, resulting in lower BMI and better overall health [12]. This physical activity provides an outlet for energy, sharpens focus, and enhances sleep.
  3. Enhancing mental well-being: Exposure to sunshine helps children’s bodies produce Vitamin D, which is crucial for the immune system, bone development, restful sleep, and improved mood [12].

To make outdoor pursuits more appealing, consider these ideas:

  • Organize family adventures to nearby parks, lakes, or recreation areas [13].
  • Encourage pet-related activities, such as walking the dog or playing fetch [13].
  • Set up outdoor play equipment like projectiles, toys on wheels, or water-based activities [13].
  • Create engaging outdoor activities like treasure hunts or nature-based scavenger hunts [13].

Creative Hobbies

Introducing creative hobbies can be an effective way to take video game time off of an addicted child’s mind with more constructive activities. These pursuits not only engage your child’s mind but also provide a sense of achievement and self-expression. Consider these options:

  1. Learning a new skill: Encourage your child to try activities like learning a musical instrument, photography, or computer programming [14].
  2. Artistic endeavors: Introduce your child to painting, sculpture, or drawing [15]. These activities activate parts of the brain that interpret sensory information, providing a similar rush to adventure games.
  3. Hands-on projects: Engage your child in activities like woodworking, Lego building, or jewelry making [14].

To make these hobbies more appealing, try to:

  • Align the activities with your child’s interests and strengths [16].
  • Introduce new hobbies gradually and make them family activities [16].
  • Provide the necessary tools and resources to support their creative pursuits.

Family Bonding Activities

Replacing video game time with quality family time can strengthen your relationships and provide your child with valuable social experiences. Here are some ways to make family time engaging and memorable:

  1. Plan regular family activities: Organize board game nights, outdoor explorations, or collaborative projects [16].
  2. Create unique experiences: Engage in out-of-the-box activities that your children will remember. These could include surprise outings to paintball or laser tag arenas, which provide active, off-screen entertainment similar to some video games [16].
  3. Explore nature together: Take family hikes with great views, bringing along a digital camera to maintain a technological connection while appreciating natural beauty [16].
  4. Try various activities: Experiment with different pursuits like swimming in rivers, fishing, camping, bowling, or visiting carnivals and museums [16].

Remember, joyful connection is the “super glue” of families [17]. By engaging in these activities, you’re not only replacing the children’s addiction to video games and technology but also building an identity of “Our family knows how to have fun together!” [17]

By consistently immersing your children in these activities, whether they want to or not, you’re helping your child develop a balanced lifestyle, fostering their growth, and protecting them from the potential negative impacts of excessive gaming. Your efforts in this area areinvaluable for your child’s healthy development.

Monitoring and Managing Game Content

As a parent, you play a crucial role in eliminating your child’s video game content. With every second of gaming activating addictive receptors in their developing brain, it’s essential to implement strategies that protect your child. There is no justifiable reason for why controlled engagement with video games is required, neccesary, or even recommended.

Age Ratings

The Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) provides a tool for parents to make informed decisions about game content. At Growth and Change Counseling, we consider this tool to be rather useless. We acknowledge that video game content can be questionable but believe that it is at the bottom of the totum pole in terms of issues that needs to be addressed. The addictive nature of video game technology is a far superior concern to the issue of content.

ESRB ratings consist of two parts: rating symbols suggesting age appropriateness and content descriptors indicating elements that may have triggered a particular rating or concern [18]. To fully utilize this system, check both the rating symbol on the front of the game box and the content descriptors on the back [18].

Don’t rely solely on the ratings. It’s crucial to learn about games before making a purchasing decision. Game reviews in newspapers and on websites can be excellent sources of information [18]. Additionally, you can use the ESRB online ratings search feature to find age-appropriate games based on content categories [18]. At the end of the day, the best thing to do is the eliminate video games from your child’s life.

Parental Controls

When you go to look for information about excessive video game use in children, you will find alot of information about parental controls. These parental controls are designed to make you think you are dealing with the problem while the child’s addiction continues to grow. Its the kind of distraction that gets good parents to let their children continue playing video games, pay the video game industry for their child’s ability to do so, and make no meaningful progress in addressing their child’s behavioral and relational deterioration that results from video game usage. The Parental control trap parents fall into goes something like this…

“Many gaming consoles and ecosystems offer robust parental control options. These controls should act as “training wheels,” providing structure as players mature [19]. They can include features such as:

  1. Time limits
  2. Spending caps
  3. Content filters
  4. Privacy settings

Major gaming platforms offer specific tools:

  • Microsoft’s Xbox Family Settings: Manage screen time, set content filters, and receive activity reports [19].
  • Sony’s PlayStation Safety: Set game restrictions, spending limits, and manage playtime [19].
  • Nintendo Switch Parental Controls: User-friendly app for setting time limits and monitoring gameplay [19].

Popular games like Fortnite, Minecraft, and Roblox also offer their own parental control features, including chat filters, privacy settings, and in some cases, time management tools [19].

Remember, parental controls shouldn’t be your police force. Instead, use them as a mechanism for providing structure and guidance, encouraging you to think about each setting and how it relates to your child and family [19].”

Open Communication About Game Choices

We live in a technological world, its all around us, and we can’t get away from it. While you may keep your child from using video games, it is still important to have open communication with your child about their peers gaming habits, why your family is different and begin to lay the foundation for your children to be able to access technology for its practical uses without being controlled by it. The goal is not to shelter your children from technology but to foster healthy development so that in their older years they will be socially, emotionally, and intellectually equiped to handle technology with maturity. Here are some strategies to foster healthy discussions:

  1. Engage in play and experiences with your children that are interactive, physical, and in nature and explore the benefits of those experiences with your children. [18].
  2. Explore with them what their peers are doing and what their relationships are like.  Help your children draw correlations between their peers behavior, actions, and choices and the quality of their relationships. Explore with your children the ways in which they observe video games having detrimental affects on peers [20].
  3. Immerse your children in quality, real life experiences, that support the child in internalizing the value of real life engagement.  Go on hikes, visit national parks, have a campfire, serve at the food pantry together. [21].

By implementing these strategies, you can nurture your child into a balanced, relationally healthy human being who is intellectually astute. Your goal is to guide your child towards healthy living habits that will serve them well into adulthood.

Conclusion

As we’ve explored, video games will have a significant damaging impact on children’s development, and it’s crucial for parents to take an active role in getting rid of their child’s gaming habits. By setting healthy limits, encouraging alternative activities, spending time together as a family, you can help protect your child’s developing brain from the certain negative effects of excessive gaming. Remember, every moment spent gaming activates addictive receptors in a child’s brain, which continues to develop until age 26.

To wrap up, fostering open communication about the negative consequences of video game use in peers and technology addictions in general and immersing your children into family life can go a long way in creating a balanced and relationally intelligent child. It’s essential to prioritize family relationships and activities that promote healthy development and strong family bonds. If you’re worried about your child’s video game use or experiencing behavioral concerns, it’s important to seek help. At Growth and Change Counseling, we’re committed to supporting healthy families and relationships as the key to addressing mental health concerns. Give us a call today to start a conversation about your child’s well-being.

FAQs

Is it harmful for children to play video games for three hours a day?
Playing video games for any amount of time is harmful to a developing child. There is alot of money and a billion dollar industry with a vested interest in producing research that at a minimum denies that its detrimental to kids. The stark reality is that every second your child accesses technology or video games its acting on the addictive receptors in their brain because its designed that way.

It nurtures the anti-virtues in a child’s development. It conditions them to substitute long hours of relational isolation for real, in person relationships. It conditions children to be impatient, to have low frustration tolerance, to have a very short attention span, to have disregulated emotions, to make decisions based on their feelings, and to disrespect anyone that gets in the way of their video game usage. There is a concerted monetary and compromised scientific effort to get you to let down your guard and surrender your child to the world of gaming.

At what point does the duration of playing video games become excessive?
Spending any amount of time playing video games is considered excessive for a developing child. This level of gaming will lead a child down the path of addiction, the development of the anti-virtues, and result in the deterioration of the parent child relationships.

What are the consequences of children playing video games excessively?
Extended periods of gaming can cause the brain to remain in a state of hyperarousal, which varies from one individual to another. This state may lead to challenges in attention span, emotional regulation, impulse control, following instructions, and managing frustration.

Can excessive gaming negatively impact my child?
Yes, spending time (any time is excessive time) on video games will negatively affect children in multiple areas including their physical, social, intellectual, and emotional development, as they miss out on real daily life.

References

[1] – https://childmind.org/article/healthy-limits-on-video-games/
[2] – https://www.welivesecurity.com/2023/01/03/gaming-how-much-too-much-children/
[3] – https://www.healthygamer.gg/blog/is-my-son-gaming-too-much-a-parents-guide
[4] – https://www.esrb.org/tools-for-parents/family-gaming-guide/
[5] – https://axis.org/resource/a-parent-guide-to-video-games/
[6] – https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/are-video-games-and-screens-another-addiction
[7] – https://www.familyaddictionspecialist.com/blog/15-signs-my-child-has-a-video-game-addiction
[8] – https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/23124-video-game-addiction
[9] – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8765604/
[10] – https://www.unitypoint.org/news-and-articles/video-game-addiction-signs-effects-and-treatment
[11] – https://northshorefamilyservices.com/video-games-how-to-set-limits-on-play-time/
[12] – https://biglifejournal.com/blogs/blog/benefits-of-outdoor-play-less-screen-time?srsltid=AfmBOooXVosjc4nRDnhVK65dIAKyl0qnAGXHEHAr5_kTvRZNhLN1Az-5
[13] – https://cremedelacreme.com/blog/encourage-outdoor-play-instead-of-video-games-this-summer/
[14] – https://gamequitters.com/hobby-ideas/
[15] – https://www.healthygamer.gg/blog/13-hobbies-to-replace-video-games
[16] – https://www.quora.com/How-can-I-get-my-son-to-engage-in-other-activities-other-than-video-games-Ive-exhausted-all-normal-attempts-but-games-are-all-he-is-interested-in-Should-I-give-up-and-jump-on-this-game-wagon-to
[17] – https://connectedfamilies.org/family-bonding-activities/
[18] – https://www.pbs.org/kcts/videogamerevolution/impact/esrb.html
[19] – https://www.fielding.edu/how-and-why-to-use-parental-controls-in-video-games/
[20] – https://www.videogamehealth.com/writing/playvideogameswithyourkids
[21] – https://www.unicef.org/parenting/child-care/video-games-explainer