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  • jmkane9

Porn Addiction and Relationships Therapist serving Visalia, Lemoore and the Central Valley

Updated: Jun 11





relationships therapist, couples therapist, porn addiction therapist, hmong therapist
John Kane, AMFT Serving Visalia, Lemoore, Fresno and the Central Valley

Your relationship could look perfect to everybody in your community. It could even be fantastic, intimate, and joy filled most of the time and yet in the privacy of your home and personal life, it could be feeling very different from the beautiful fairy tale everyone else thinks you are living. Are you struggling with a porn addiction? Are you struggling in your relationships or career? Are you feeling lonely, depressed, or anxious. We would like to help you. We want you to know that you are wired for relationships and that at the heart of whatever issue you are facing is dysfunction in relationships that ends up in isolation and loneliness.


Let’s look at this through the lens of porn addiction. In Visalia, Lemoore, Hanford, Fresno, and the greater central valley there are many people that are in isolated careers such as Truck Driving or transportation. When you are on the road a lot, it is hard to maintain and build the healthy relationships that are part of your life dreams. There are also many who see their spouse or partner every day and yet feel lonely and isolated. In these situations, porn becomes an attractive solution to engage in sexual activity as a way to cope with the isolation and loneliness. And for most people, you were told boys would be boys and it was no big deal.


If we look at basic statistics, 40 million Americans regularly access porn sites, 35% of all internet downloads are related to pornography, ⅓ of porn users are women and every second $3075.64 is spent on pornography.


It’s a common activity in the central valley, many people are choosing to engage in it, and yet if you asked anyone using porn about their life, you would learn the following, they are relationally and emotionally disconnected from their partner, they feel isolated, lonely, and generally unhappy.


The reason is that sex is a relational act, designed to occur between two people who love each other, are committed to each other, and have exclusivity with each other. When sex occurs in this context it has this tremendous power to enhance the relationship and draw the couple together emotionally, physically, and mentally. We call it attachment and it is produced by specific chemicals Oxytocin and Vasopressin that are released in the body during sex.


When a person engages in pornography, they develop no emotional connection, their energy and focus is spent on objectifying the sexual experience, and even if they have a partner they are in a relationship with, they will find themselves growing distant because they are not emotionally connecting with the partner and it becomes increasingly difficult for them to get biochemically turned on by their partner. The engagement in pornography puts up barriers to intimacy, and the more they engage in the addiction, the more isolated they become. It’s a self perpetuating cycle.


Likewise, unhealthy conflict, depression, anxiety, trauma, grief lead to loss of relationship, which can perpetuate feelings of isolation and loneliness, which in turn perpetuate the cycle of anxiety, depression, and addiction.


Regardless of what you are dealing with, we want you to know that there is hope and that through Christian Counseling and therapy support, through the development of healthy relationship skills and increased intimacy in your personal life, you can have a meaningful and fulfilled life that is satisfying and free of anxiety and depression.

couples communication, couples intimacy, emotion focused therapy
You are wired for relationship and intimacy!

If you live in the following zip codes: 93291, 93245, 93230, 93705 and the surrounding area, call us for a free consultation.


We specialize in couples relationships, marriage counseling, substance addiction, porn addiction, anger management, anxiety, depression, grief, trauma, and parenting concerns. Whatever your pain, we hold hope for you and we would be honored to help you reach your goals on this journey of life. Call us today!


If you are dealing with a life threatening emergency, please dial 9-1-1.


If you are in need of crisis support services, the following resources are available to you in the Central Valley.


24 hour crisis text message hotline in the Central Valley, CA: 741741

Central Valley Suicide Hotline: 1-888-506-5991


Additional Resources:

Lemoore and Hanford

Housing: Naval Air Station Housing Resources: 559-998-4949

Food Pantry: Kings Pantry (559) 584-3603 Open: Wednesday and Friday 9:00am - 2:00pm, Closed for lunch: 11:30am-12:30pm

https://www.facebook.com/kingspantry/


Kings County Housing Resources:

670 South Irwin Street

Hanford, CA 93230

Tel: (559) 582-3120

Fax: (559) 582-8471


or you can call the Corcoran office at: (559) 992-2957


Visalia Housing Resources:

Contact Margie Perez, Housing Specialist, at (559) 713-4460 or email at Margie.Perez@visalia.city

Food: Bethlehem Center (559) 734-1572

They operate a food pantry, and are able to provide clothing for those that need it. In addiction, they serve two hot meals per day. The hot meals hours are Monday thru Friday 8am - 9am and 12pm - 1pm. A hot lunch is served on Saturday and Sunday 12pm - 1pm. The food pantry is open Monday - Friday 10:00am - 11:45am. They also serve dinner on special occasions during the holidays.


References:

https://www.webroot.com/us/en/resources/tips-articles/internet-pornography-by-the-numbers#:~:text=About%20200%2C000%20Americans%20are%20classified%20as%20%E2%80%9Cporn%20addicts.%E2%80%9D,ads%2C%20pop%20up%20ads%2C%20misdirected%20links%20or%20emails.


https://lemoore.navylifesw.com/programs/55c2dbcc-e3a1-4bed-bda2-7b98ce8a0b99


http://hakc.com/About/contact.htm


https://www.visalia.city/depts/community_development/housing_n_cdbg_services/affordable_housing.asp


https://www.bethlehemcentervisalia.com/mealservices








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