School Trauma in children is a real thing. I’ve seen kids that were so traumatized by their school experience that they wouldn’t come out of their bedroom for two years. If your child is refusing to school it is not simply a defiance issue. There is a fundamental need your child has to feel safe and he or she is not feeling safe so they are digging in their heels.
It is important to understand that school is not education, although education can happen at school. It is also important to understand that school is counter-intuitive to a child’s innate ways of learning since birth and it can be damaging to their own internal motivation to learn over the course of a period of years. It is also not true that kids learn to socialize at school, they learn to socialize at home. When they are 2, 3, 4 years old, they learn how to emotionally regulate from watching mom and dad, they learn how to deal with conflict from mom and dad, and if they don’t learn it there, they go to school and they interact in dysfunctional ways with all the other kids that didn’t learn to emotionally regulate and deal with conflict with their parents. So there is no mandatory paradigm that justifies school being your only option.
You have options and you don’t need to be afraid. If your child is refusing to go to school, the first step is not to force them to go, but to get down to their level and talk to them and understand intricately what is going on in their young mind. Understanding where your child is coming from will help you make decisions that are good for their well being. And also, let’s talk! We specialize in helping families dealing with school refusal and school trauma. We would like to help you too!
Get support for school trauma and school refusal in San Jose, Campbell, and Santa Clara, CA
Growth and Change Counseling Inc are knowledgeable and experienced in supporting Parents, Children, and Families with the complexities that arise from school refusal and trauma. Don’t walk this journey alone. Call us today at 408-461-9658. We can help!